Am I Burning Out, or Just Unable to Say No?

In case you missed Part 6, read here.

For preface, these aren’t career advice articles…

It’s an article series about what it feels like to be at the starting line. 

Not to provide answers, but to help make sense of the experience - the learning curve. 

Everyone wants to succeed in their career. The faster the better.

But the truth is, it’s okay to not have everything figured out.

Recognise that you aren’t alone, and that your experiences are valid. 

This isn’t a game of speed or comparison, it's a game of endurance and patience.

Do you struggle with saying no? If you do, you’re definitely not alone. I’ve been guilty of it many times myself.

Sometimes people genuinely need help. Other times, people are simply offloading their responsibilities onto you. But regardless of the situation, we technically always have a choice.

We can say no. So why is it sometimes so difficult?

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For some people, saying no comes naturally. They set boundaries quickly and protect their time well. But for others, especially those early in their careers, it feels much harder. And honestly, I think part of it comes from fear.

The fear of being seen as incapable. The fear of disappointing people. The fear of looking unreliable.

Because when you enter a new role or environment, first impressions matter. You want to be known as dependable. Someone who can handle pressure. Someone who gets things done without complaining. And at first, that mindset feels productive.

Until it slowly starts consuming you.

——— ✦ ———

Burnout is something I’ve been seeing more and more among people around me.

A lot of it happens when people push themselves beyond their limits, whether voluntarily or involuntarily. They keep saying “I’m fine” while quietly carrying exhaustion they haven’t fully processed.

And the scary part is that sometimes, even they don’t realise it’s happening until it’s already affecting them mentally and emotionally. We rarely know what someone is dealing with internally. Their fears, expectations, responsibilities, or the pressure they place on themselves.

Sometimes we forget that people are human. Not machines. Not systems. Not AI.

——— ✦ ———

I remember almost burning out during the first few months of my first job.

At the beginning, everything felt exciting. Project after project, learning new things, solving problems, delivering outcomes. I was constantly moving, constantly producing, and honestly, I loved it. I was running on momentum.

And because I was doing well, I kept saying yes. Yes to more work. Yes to more responsibility. Yes to proving myself again and again.

——— ✦ ———

Then suddenly, everything slowed down. There were fewer projects for a period of time, and instead of feeling relieved, I felt uncomfortable. Almost anxious. Because if I wasn’t constantly producing or contributing, then what was my purpose there?

It sounds strange, but I realised I had tied my sense of value to being productive all the time.

——— ✦ ———

When work eventually picked up again, something had changed. The motivation wasn’t the same anymore. The spark that once pushed me so hard had almost burned out completely. It felt like my mind never had the chance to slow down properly. I had spent so long operating at full speed that the sudden stop forced everything I ignored to catch up with me all at once.

I think that kind of burnout is rarely talked about. Not just exhaustion from overworking, but exhaustion from constantly needing to prove your worth.

——— ✦ ———

We are not designed to function perfectly all the time. We are going to make mistakes. We are going to disappoint people sometimes. We are going to feel overwhelmed, misunderstood, and emotionally tired.

That doesn’t make us weak. It makes us human.

——— ✦ ———

So is it okay to set boundaries? Is it okay to say no? I think the answer is yes.

Growth does require discomfort. Good leaders will tell you to stretch yourself, and I agree with that. That’s often how we improve. But even stretching has limits. And learning those limits is important. Because if you stretch something too far for too long, eventually it breaks.

——— ✦ ———

At the same time, I think leaders and managers also play a huge role in this. Remember what it felt like when you were in that position. Remember what it was like wanting to prove yourself. Wanting to impress. Wanting to belong.

People early in their careers are still learning. They’re trying their best. They’re going to make mistakes. But if you guide them properly, they can become some of the strongest people on your team.

The problem starts when we stop seeing people as humans and start seeing them only through output, KPIs, deadlines, and performance metrics. Because once people feel like they are only valuable when they are productive, burnout becomes inevitable.

——— ✦ ———

There’s actually a reason why this happens.

The Job Demands-Resources Model explains that burnout often occurs when the demands placed on someone consistently outweigh the resources they have to cope with it. 

The demands can be workload, pressure, emotional stress, or expectations. The resources are things like support systems, recovery time, guidance, autonomy, and psychological safety.

——— ✦ ———

And when one keeps increasing while the other decreases, people slowly wear down. Not always immediately. But over time. Quietly.

Maybe that’s why burnout can be so difficult to recognise. Because sometimes, it doesn’t feel like collapsing. Sometimes, it just feels like slowly losing the energy to keep pretending you’re okay.

You made it through the week! Take a breather with us — you deserve it.

Wellness Wednesday

From mastering breathing techniques to unlocking the secrets of longevity, join Wim Hof Method Instructor Piyachai Teo as he dives into simple yet powerful ways to boost your health and happiness.