I'm Trying, But It Never Feels Like Enough

In case you missed Part 5, read here.

For preface, these aren’t career advice articles…

It’s an article series about what it feels like to be at the starting line. 

Not to provide answers, but to help make sense of the experience - the learning curve. 

Everyone wants to succeed in their career. The faster the better.

But the truth is, it’s okay to not have everything figured out.

Recognise that you aren’t alone, and that your experiences are valid. 

This isn’t a game of speed or comparison, it's a game of endurance and patience.

Will I ever be enough?

It’s a simple question, but one that constantly changes depending on where you are in life.

What determines success in the workplace? Is it a promotion? Bonuses? Successfully delivering projects? Building strong relationships and networks?

Because sometimes, even when things are going well, it still doesn’t feel like enough. There’s still a gap somewhere. 

And the moment you notice that gap, it becomes difficult to ignore.

——— ✦ ———

You start focusing on everything you haven’t achieved yet.

The title you don’t have.
The salary you haven’t reached.
The version of yourself you thought you would become by now (very relatable)

And suddenly, your progress stops feeling meaningful because all you can see is the distance left to go.

——— ✦ ———

I think that’s the difficult part about growth.

As humans, we’re designed to adapt. To improve, push boundaries, and survive. That’s how we evolve. Which means the moment we achieve something, we naturally adjust to it. What once felt impossible eventually becomes normal. And when that happens, we move the goalpost  again.

It’s strange. You can be doing objectively well and still feel like you’re falling behind.

——— ✦ ———

At some point, I realised something uncomfortable.

A lot of the pressure I felt wasn’t actually coming from other people. It was coming from me.

I was my biggest competitor.

And when you dissect it deeper, you realise that the people you thought were holding you back were never the real enemy; it’s truly your own mind.

——— ✦ ———

On good days, your mind can be your biggest support system. You feel motivated, capable, almost unstoppable. Everything feels aligned.

But on bad days, it becomes your greatest prison. It traps you in overthinking. It feeds irrational fears. It makes you question your own abilities, even when there’s evidence that you’re doing fine.

And the worst part is that it often sounds convincing.

——— ✦ ———

I think a lot of this showed up for me during my early career. I dealt with a lot of imposter syndrome. 

Moving quickly, taking on responsibilities at a young age, holding titles that felt heavy for someone at my stage, it made me constantly question whether I actually deserved to be there. 

There were moments where I genuinely felt like I was faking it.

——— ✦ ———

I think a lot of high performers can relate to this, especially those in fast-track management programmes or roles where expectations increase very quickly. It becomes this unspoken pressure that everyone silently carries.

Even on difficult days, you still have to show up, perform, and deliver. Because in your head, slowing down feels dangerous. Like losing momentum means losing everything you worked hard for.

——— ✦ ———

And because of that, recognition started to matter more to me than I realised.

When my supervisors, managers, or colleagues acknowledged my work, it gave me reassurance. It reminded me that maybe I was doing better than I thought.

But not everyone works in environments like that. Some workplaces are highly competitive. Some people are waiting for mistakes to happen so they can move ahead themselves.

And in those environments, self-doubt grows even faster.

That’s why having even one person who genuinely believes in your capabilities matters so much. Not because you need external validation to survive, but because sometimes, we become so harsh on ourselves that we stop seeing our own progress clearly.

There’s a reason this feeling exists.

It’s called Self-Discrepancy Theory.

The theory explains that we constantly compare three versions of ourselves:

Who we are now.
Who we think we should be.
And who we ideally want to become.

The problem is that the gap between those versions can create emotional discomfort. When your current self doesn’t match the expectations you place on yourself, it creates feelings of disappointment, frustration, guilt, or inadequacy. Even if you’re already growing. Even if you’re already doing enough.

——— ✦ ———

Maybe that’s why success sometimes feels so temporary.

Because the moment we achieve one version of ourselves, we immediately start chasing the next.

——— ✦ ———

But maybe growth isn’t supposed to feel complete all the time.

Maybe part of growth is learning how to recognise your progress before your mind convinces you it isn’t enough.

Because sometimes, the person pushing you the hardest isn’t your boss, your peers, or society.

It’s the version of yourself you think you’re supposed to become.