What Marshall Goldsmith Taught Me About a Better Life

I just returned from London, where I had the joy of watching my dear friend and mentor Marshall Goldsmith receive the Thinkers50 Lifetime Achievement Award.

It’s a wonderful thing to see someone you love receive an honor they so richly deserve. It also makes you think about how different your life might have been if that person hadn’t come into it.

Marshall taught me how to be an executive coach. That alone changed the direction of my professional life. But his influence has reached far beyond my work. What I’ve learned from him has helped me think about the person I want to be, the relationships I want to nurture, and how to spend the time I’ve been given.

I have one of his sayings hanging on my office wall: “Did I help someone have a little better life today?” It’s simple and generous and so very Marshall.

A Little Better Life is also the title of his new book. Yet for those of us fortunate enough to know him, it describes something he has been doing for years: giving people a little better life.

Each week on the Journal, I add one simple practice to go with the story. This week’s is a thank-you you can write in three sentences. 

Think about that phrase for a moment. A little better life doesn’t mean happily ever after. It doesn’t mean we’ll never have challenges. The word “little” is important. It might mean you find a way to a better minute in a tough day. Or maybe you help someone else through your kind word or act of service.

There is something wonderfully human about small ambitions for good. Seeking a little more patience, a little more purpose, or a better conversation with someone you love. Maybe you gain the courage to ask for help or to try again. All those things add up.

All the littles in our lives can make a big difference.

And sometimes, we might need another person to help us see where to begin to make a little difference. When I look back over my own life, I see people everywhere who did that for me.

My first mentors were my parents, Dalt and Irene Elton. I’ve written often about them. Long before I knew what a mentor was, I was learning by watching how they lived.

Then came my four older brothers: Tanner, Jon, Kim, and Byron. Four older brothers means a great deal of advice, some of it even requested!

And, of course, I daily benefit from the mentorship of my lovely wife Heidi.

My first boss at Blair TV, Teddy Pearce, belongs on my list of mentors. So does my dear friend and co-author Adrian Gostick who changed my life for the better. Each helped shape who I am. Each taught me something important.

I suspect your list of mentors is long too. Maybe your list would include a teacher who saw potential in you or a boss who gave you a chance to do something you didn’t think you were ready for. Maybe there was someone who came along who cared enough to tell you something difficult, who practiced radical candor with you, but who cared enough to stay to help you work through it.

I'm fortunate to have had many people like that in my life. And one of the most important is Marshall. And I’m not alone. By the love in the room when he received his award, his legacy lives in the people he has coached and mentored around the world. It lives in what those people do next: how they lead, how they treat their families, and how they help someone else.

I get to carry a little of what Marshall taught me into every coaching conversation. That is both a privilege and a responsibility. That’s perhaps one of the greatest gifts of mentoring, that the good keeps traveling. It ripples.

So here is my invitation this week: Think of someone who helped you become more of the person you wanted to be. Tell them what they taught you. Be specific. Let them know their time and care mattered. Let them know how they made your life just a little better!

Then consider who might need that same gift from you. Who can you pass your knowledge to like Marshall did for me and so many others.

Thank you, Marshall, for your generosity, your friendship, and your selfless devotion to helping others. You wanted to help me have a little better life. You have.

Love + gratitude,

Chester

This article was firstly published on Chester Elton's LinkedIn.