Why Even CEOs Don't Have Boundaries

I recently spent a day in a room full of executives, and I noticed something striking. Almost every obstacle they struggled with eventually came back to the same issue: a boundary that was not being held.

One executive described a subordinate who shares ideas in a cyclical way. “He makes a point, circles around it, makes the point again, adds another layer, circles back again.” In this case, the prescription was remarkably simple: someone in the room needs to be willing to gently say, “I feel like we are going in loops on this. Let’s move on.” In other words, someone needs to establish a boundary.

Another executive described someone who works for him as “exhausting.” This person wanted 45 minutes with him every other week, and despite the executive’s seniority and authority, that time had simply become an accepted commitment in his calendar. I suggested questioning that assumption, or at minimum, shortening the meeting. Again: set the boundary.

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Why Boundaries Matter

Somewhere along the way, we have developed the idea that being a senior leader means being perpetually available. Other people's needs, preferences, communication styles, and requests can begin to feel like obligations we are expected to accommodate. They aren't. Boundaries are so infrequently modeled that we can forget they are an option.

Leaders at every level fall into this trap. They answer Slack messages at 11 p.m. because “that's just the way we do it now.” They interrupt vacations to take a call because, “I have to be on this one.” They leave their door open when they desperately need uninterrupted concentration because they have conflated being “warm” with “always being available.”

But boundaries aren't punishments. They aren't declarations that someone is annoying or unimportant; they are structures that allow people to work together without one person's habits consuming disproportionate amounts of everyone else's time, attention, or energy.

Why Boundaries Feel Difficult

What struck me most was that these weren't executives who didn't know how to lead. They were remarkably practiced at solving large, complicated problems that few people could navigate, and yet they were also hesitant to address relatively small interpersonal issues.

These executives can spend millions redesigning a system, but stopping one person from talking in circles during a strategy meeting can feel insurmountable. They can reorganize an entire department, but somehow never shorten a meeting everyone dreads.

Setting a limit sounds simple in theory. In practice, it can feel personal. We worry about disappointing someone, damaging a relationship, appearing inflexible, or, particularly for senior leaders, creating an unnecessary power dynamic.

But leadership is full of moments when a small, clear boundary protects something much larger: time, attention, standards, relationships, and everyone else’s ability to do their work.

Three Practical Ways to Strengthen the Muscle of Boundary-setting

1. State the constraint, not the criticism. Instead of “You talk too much in these meetings,” try: “We have ten minutes left, so let's focus on the decisions we need to make today.” The boundary is about the work, not the person.

2. Repeat without emotion. A boundary becomes meaningful through consistency. If the same unwanted behavior keeps returning, calmly restate the boundary rather than inventing a new explanation each time. Repetition is often more effective than intensity.

3. Examine where you are rewarding the behavior. This may be the most important one. If someone routinely interrupts your focus and you consistently accommodate them, then you’ve inadvertently taught them that the interruption works. Before asking someone else to change, look at what your own behavior may be reinforcing.

The goal is never to become less generous, less available, or less human; it’s to become more intentional about what you are available for. Because when everything is an obligation, nothing gets your best attention.

This was also published on Juliet Funt's LinkedIn.