How To Use Empathy To Help New Graduates Succeed In Their First Role

College seniors are getting ready for graduation and their first big career opportunity. At the same time, organisations are preparing to welcome them into their workplaces. Although fewer will likely join the ranks this year, those who have secured their first big job are filled with energy and optimism. And they’re experiencing something less visible too. Young people at this stage in their lives are feeling uncertainty and pressure. They’re searching for identity. To help your new grads succeed, you need to understand them. Because what they’re going through is much bigger than just a transition from college to workplace, it’s a life transition. And that requires a different approach to onboarding.

The Hidden Reality of Starting a Career

When someone enters their first job, they’re not just learning tasks and navigating how things work at your organisation. They’re focused on something that’s far more complex: becoming who they are. As described in Mental Health in College, by Alexis Redding, this stage of life is about becoming self-authoring. That means they're deep in the process of figuring out who they are and who they want to become. This self-awareness is critical to career success. It’s the first step in Goleman’s emotional intelligence model, and it’s foundational to effective personal branding.

While they’re seeking self-awareness, they’re also getting conflicting messages from those around them and from social media. It can feel disorienting. When you add in the pressure of a new job, the fear of making mistakes, and the desire to prove themselves, you have a perfect storm of emotional complexity. Many new graduates feel unseen, unsure, and hyper-aware of how they’re being judged. Psychologists call this the imaginary audience effect, a heightened sensitivity to how others perceive them. It’s something that fades with experience, but early on, it’s intense.

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The Belonging Gap

Only 20% of employees globally are engaged, and more than one in five report feeling lonely at work. Nearly a third describe their workplace as isolating or impersonal. The lack of belonging is even more prevalent among new grads. They’ve just left a comfortable environment with structure, identity, and social networks. They’ve been thrust into a new setting where the rules are less clear, relationships are undeveloped, and expectations feel high. This presents a major opportunity for organisations that want to show their new grads that they belong.

Traditional onboarding focuses on training and performance, while new hires are looking for belonging. Belonging is not a nice-to-have. It’s foundational. Alexis Redding explains, “New hires often struggle with a sense of belonging while they transition into the workplace. That’s the opportunity to make them feel seen and valued. If they don’t experience that, engagement and confidence can dip, putting both performance and retention at risk.”

Focus On The First 10 Days

Research and experience show that the first ten days of a new job are disproportionately impactful. In this window, new hires are highly sensitive to cultural cues. They are watching everything.

• Do people acknowledge each other?
• Is it safe to ask questions?
• Do leaders actually live the values that adorn the wall in reception?

Trust erodes quickly when what’s being experienced is not aligned with what’s being said. Once trust is lost, it’s hard to rebuild, so being intentional is essential. Every interaction in those early days matters more than you think. Getting them right creates connection.

The Power Of Micro-Mentoring

The word mentorship typically conjures up images of formal programs and long-term commitments where senior leaders are paired with those who are early in their career. That type of mentoring is not what new grads need. They need access, reflection, and small, frequent moments of guidance. Dorie Clark, author of The Long Game, put it this way, “It doesn’t have to be a major commitment of time. Micro-mentoring moments can still be tremendously impactful. A 15-minute conversation. A quick coffee. A meaningful moment waiting for the elevator. These interactions may seem small. But at the right time, they can be transformative.” In fact, Redding notes that, “One 20-minute conversation at the right time can fundamentally change the trajectory of someone’s life. That’s not an exaggeration. And it means that every employee, not just senior leaders, can make a difference. Onboarding new hires needs to be part of everyone’s job."

Mentorship Isn’t Just Top-Down

Another misconception is that mentorship must come from someone more experienced. While that can be valuable, peer mentorship is often just as powerful, especially for new hires. New hires are more likely to ask questions and seek help from people who feel approachable. Fellow early-career employees can share hidden knowledge that isn’t documented anywhere. They can learn how decisions actually get made, how to navigate the culture, and what really matters in the organisation. These insights are key to both confidence and competence. And they create human connection.

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The Challenge Of A Virtual World

For many new grads, this transition to the workplace is happening in a hybrid or remote environment. That adds another layer of complexity. In the past, much of workplace learning happened informally. You overheard conversations. You asked quick questions. You built relationships organically. Those potent moments are less frequent. That means organisations need to design for them. Call it planned serendipity. It doesn’t have to be challenging. Just opening Zoom rooms early and building breakout sessions can have a big impact. It’s essential to create space for conversations that have nothing to do with work. Without those moments, new hires miss out on the social connection of work, and that’s where much of the real learning happens. It’s also key to engagement. Gallup learned that one of the biggest predictors of engagement and retention is having a best friend at work.

Shift The Narrative

We can’t talk about successfully onboarding recent grads without addressing the story we tell about this generation. Too often, it’s framed as “kids these days.” That mindset is not just unhelpful, it’s harmful. Redding says, “We have to resist the deficit framing. Instead, we can meet them where they are by understanding where they are developmentally.” It’s not about lowering standards. It’s about raising awareness. When we are empathic and seek to understand what new grads are navigating, we can support them more effectively. And when we do that, engagement and performance follow.

Make The First Job Feel Like A First Step, Not A Final Test

Many new grads feel like their first job is a defining moment. They have to get it right. It will impact the rest of their lives. That pressure can be paralyzing. The truth is that this is not their last career. It’s their first. Organisations can help by reframing the experience. Instead of positioning the role as a proving ground, position it as a learning ground. After all, learning is what these grads have been doing for the past several years. It’s a comfortable place for them and helps to reduce the pressure. Often, the senior leaders who are featured as part of onboarding sessions are those who started at the bottom rung of the ladder and worked hard for many years, and now have VP in their title. Those stories of ways you can build your career in the organisation are valuable. They’re more impactful, though, when shared alongside stories about varied career paths. That sends the message of possibility rather than determination.

What This Means For Leaders

Helping new graduates succeed is not just an HR responsibility. It’s an organisational one. Every interaction matters. Every conversation has potential. Everyone in the organisation has the ability to create moments that build confidence, clarity, and connection. The payoff of this approach is significant. It inspires stronger engagement, faster development, and higher retention. But more importantly, it offers something deeper. It’s about helping people at a pivotal moment in their lives. Redding put it this way, “When you support someone as they’re becoming who they are, you don’t just shape their career. You help them define a trajectory.” That impact lasts far beyond the first job.

This article was originally published in Forbes.