The Good And The Bad Keep Us Alive And Kicking


Prethiba Esvary


2 min read

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A balance of push and pull is needed to keep us going in life, similar to a game of tug of war.


How has 2015 been for you?

Mine has been great. Not because I have had so many wonderful things happen to me, which have been the case.

Pondering on the months, I have experienced betrayal, rejection, anger, disappointment, sadness, bitterness, envy, annoyance… Should I go on?

If I were to sit down and give you a blow-by-blow account on what happened to me on a daily basis, it would definitely look unstable on a heart rate monitor, with some very highs and some very lows. It could give you a heart attack just observing it!


I end every year going through 10 things I am grateful for. This reflective exercise gets me pondering and I find myself “ooh-ing” and “aah-ing” about the nice things that have happened and the little things that I am grateful for.

Simple joys like my son asking for a book I have written so he can read it at a holiday camp (he probably just wants to show off that I’m his mother) to checking on me if I have had dinner. Coming from a 13-year-old, this means the world to me.


I then ask myself what were some of my greatest lessons learnt for the year. As I do that, I don’t dwell on the negative.

Instead, I treat every experience as an opportunity to learn. The most meaningful learning is usually from a “bad” experience, i.e. you can’t appreciate the view at the top of the mountain unless you’ve been to the valley.

One of my lessons was the people I allowed into my space and my heart. And as much as I don’t want to change my open nature, I am wary of how much I will allow an individual into my life.

When I find my energy being zapped or I catch myself whinging, I then reframe and move on to play a bigger game.
I visualise myself being up in the clouds knowing there’s a storm brewing below as opposed to being caught in the storm.


There have been plenty; from finishing my first marathon to writing my second book. These only serve as reminders that I can do more, and how I need to get uncomfortable again to stretch myself to be a better me not for public recognition but to be all that I can be as God has planned for me.

What’s Next?

The year has been filled with such lessons (from the good and bad) and I reckon I’ll be lifeless if it didn’t come with trials and tribulations.

In the midst of it, I choose to focus on the wonderful things that have happened from fellowships, friendships, support and opportunities that have come my way.

Whatever 2016 may be like, I just thank God for being alive to experience it. Trust me, there are many silver linings in your life if you look out for them too.

Freda is a faculty trainer of Leaderonomics focusing on public relations and broadcasting. She is also a radio presenter/producer on BFM89.9. To engage Freda for your organisational work, email For more Try This articles, click here. 
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