Do I Need to Compete to Grow?

Start reading from Part 1 and Part 2.

For preface, these aren’t career advice articles…

It’s an article series about what it feels like to be at the starting line. 

Not to provide answers, but to help make sense of the experience - the learning curve. 

Everyone wants to succeed in their career. The faster the better.

But the truth is, it’s okay to not have everything figured out.

Recognise that you aren’t alone, and that your experiences are valid. 

This isn’t a game of speed or comparison, it's a game of endurance and patience.

Is competition necessary for survival?

In plant science, we learn that trees should be planted at a distance from each other so that when they grow, each one receives enough sunlight and nutrients. But when new seedlings grow under a fully matured tree, they don’t get that same chance. They’re blocked from sunlight, unable to make enough food, and their entire growth cycle suffers because of it.

Somewhere along the way, life starts to feel like that.

——— ✦ ———

Everyone says healthy competition is good. But at the same time, we’ve been taught from the beginning to compete. To be the best. To come first. To win. We see it in grades, in medals, in achievements, in how progress is constantly measured and compared. Without realising it, we start to internalise it.

Because as we move forward, we don’t just focus on our own growth. We start looking sideways. At who’s ahead, who’s moving faster, who seems to be doing better. And when we feel like we’re falling behind, it doesn’t feel neutral. 

It feels suffocating.

——— ✦ ———

I’ve always been a silent competitor. Deep down, I want it. I want to grow, to achieve, to reach a certain level. I’ll do the work for it. But at the same time, there were moments I felt envious. Jealous, even. Not in a way I would say out loud, not in a way I would act on, but it was there.

In my friend group, everyone took different paths. Some achieved a lot very quickly. Others were still figuring things out. It was never meant to be a race, but somehow, it felt like one. 

Why did I feel the need to catch up?

——— ✦ ———

Early in my career, I started from the bottom. I worked hard, went the extra mile, and did what I could to be seen, to prove myself, to move forward. But even then, it felt like I was just trying to keep up. I even took on a second part-time job, just to feel like I was getting closer. Not because I needed to compete with them directly, but because I didn’t want to feel like I was falling behind.

Over time, something shifted. I started to see it differently. I realised I had surrounded myself with people who were ambitious, who wanted more for themselves. And instead of seeing that as pressure, I started to see it as perspective. 

Their growth didn’t take away from mine. If anything, it showed me what was possible.

——— ✦ ———

But that doesn’t mean competition disappears. In the workplace, especially in larger organisations, competition is real. If you want to move up, you have to perform, be visible, and position yourself well. And sometimes, even that isn’t enough. Because not every environment rewards fairly. Sometimes it’s about who speaks louder, who plays the game better, or who is favoured. In those situations, competition can feel less like motivation and more like something you can’t win.

So where does that leave us?

——— ✦ ———

Is competition necessary to grow?

In some ways, yes. It pushes you, challenges you, and forces you to improve. But when your growth is driven only by how others are doing, it stops being about progress and starts becoming pressure.

There’s a reason for that. It’s called social comparison. We naturally measure ourselves against others to understand where we stand. But when that comparison becomes constant, it distorts how we see our own progress. It makes us feel behind, even when we’re moving.

Maybe the question isn’t whether competition is necessary. Maybe it’s whether we know when it’s helping us grow, and when it’s just making us feel like we’re not enough.

Because growth was never meant to be about outpacing someone else. It was meant to be about becoming something at your own pace.