Stop Watering the Leaves: The Science of Your Inner Circle

It’s a simple concept, but when I put on my researcher hat and looked at the actual science—both in botany and in organisational psychology—this analogy explains exactly why so many leaders burn out. We are spending all our energy watering the leaves, when we should be feeding the roots.

Here is the breakdown of the anatomy of your network, backed by data.

1. The Leaf People (The Transactional Network)

The Parable says: They are there for a season. They take what they need, provide some shade, but blow away when the wind picks up.
The Science: In evolutionary psychology, this aligns with the outer ring of Dunbar’s Number. Anthropologist Robin Dunbar theorized that we can only maintain about 150 stable relationships. Beyond that, people are just acquaintances.
The Leadership Reality: "Leaf People" aren't bad. In fact, in biology, leaves are critical for photosynthesis—they bring in energy and new ideas. In your career, these are your networking contacts, the people you meet at conferences, or the consultants you hire for a specific project.
The Danger: The problem isn't that they are leaves; the problem is when you think they are roots. If you lean your weight on a leaf, you fall. If you expect deep loyalty from a transactional relationship, you will be disappointed. Enjoy the shade they provide, appreciate their seasonality, but don't anchor your identity in them.

2. The Branch People (The Structural Risks)

The Parable says: They look strong. They stay for a while. But when life gets too heavy, or the storm gets too fierce, they snap.
The Science: This reminds me of the Fairness Theory in organisational behavior. Many employees or partners operate on an output balance. They are strong as long as the deal is good. But materials science teaches us about tensile strength. Every branch has a breaking point. When the load (crisis/stress) exceeds the structural integrity, it snaps.
The Leadership Reality: These are often your functional partners or "fair-weather" managers. They are with you when the KPI is green. But when the crisis hits—when you lose a major client or face a PR disaster—their tensile strength fails. They detach to save themselves. But don't be angry at a branch for breaking. It wasn't built to hold the whole tree. That’s not its design.

3. The Root People (The Vital Few)

The Parable says: They are unseen. They don't do things to be seen. But when things are hard, they water you. They hold you up.
The Science: This is where the research gets fascinating. Have you heard of the "Wood Wide Web"? Suzanne Simard, a Professor of Forest Ecology, discovered that trees actually talk to each other underground via mycorrhizal networks (fungi on the roots). Through these roots, strong trees literally pump sugar and nutrients to weaker or dying trees to keep them alive. They don't do it for show (it's underground). They do it for the survival of the forest.
The Leadership Reality: In the corporate world, this is Psychological Safety (a concept championed by Amy Edmondson and validated by Google’s Project Aristotle). "Root People" are the ones who provide safety. They are the mentors who tell you the hard truth in private but defend you in public. They are the friends who don't care about your CEO title; they care about your soul.

The Spritual "Root" Principle

This concept is also spiritual. The scriptures describes the ideal leader, "They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green." (Jeremiah 17:8)

Notice the order? The roots find the water first. The green leaves are just the result of healthy roots.

My Challenge to You

We often spend 90% of our time trying to keep the "Leaves" happy (impressing strangers on social media) or fixing broken "Branches" (managing office politics).

But when was the last time you thanked a Root?

Audit your circle: Who are the 2 or 3 people who feed you when you have nothing to offer them?
Stop testing the leaves: Don't expect "Leaf People" to catch you when you fall. That’s not their job.
Be a Root: The world has enough flashy leaves fluttering in the wind. We need more roots—people willing to do the hard, unseen work of nourishing others.

To my "Root People" (you know who you are)—thank you for holding me up.

Who is a "Root Person" in your life? Tag them below and give them some flowers (or maybe some fertilizer?) today.