How Leaders and Teams Can Unlearn Together

In today’s workplace, we’re surrounded by calls to learn faster and adapt to change constantly. But few leaders stop to ask: “What do we need to unlearn? What assumptions, habits and reflexes are we clinging on to that no longer serve us – or anyone around us?”

We've spent two decades studying learning and a decade coaching senior leaders, and one pattern shows up again and again: Organisations spend enormous amounts of time, energy and resources having performative conversations that never quite reach the heart of the issue. By performative, we don’t just mean superficial – though that happens, too. We mean conversations that focus narrowly on performance goals and tasks, acting as though we’re tackling the real challenge while quietly avoiding deeper tensions in how people relate to themselves, each other, and their organisations. This is not a leadership failure but the consequence of conflating development with learning-as-acquisition. 

Edgar Schein’s work on unlearning reminds us that real development requires shedding old assumptions and habitual responses before new ones can take root. But too often, organisations focus on adding new knowledge and skills – a performance-driven approach to learning – rather than creating space for developmental conversations that challenge existing mental models. 

When leaders pause to help others unlearn, they aren’t slowing down performance; they’re enabling relational clarity and trust. These are not simply tools for innovation, but foundations for deeper learning – the kind that helps us unlearn and relearn about ourselves and others through one another. Without these conversations, disconnections persist, misdirecting energy, impeding learning, and ultimately undermining both human potential and business outcomes.

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Unlearning is a social practice

Organisations are living systems that are dynamic and interdependent. But unlearning happens not at the abstract level, but in how people process, make sense of and communicate with each other from moment to moment. When unlearning is only confined to external coaching sessions or isolated leadership programmes with no follow-through, it tends to be slow and fragile. But when it’s intentionally extended to and encouraged in team meetings, one-on-ones and informal check-ins, it becomes a practice that builds individual capacity, relational trust and shapes organisational culture.

We've seen this firsthand with leaders we coach. One senior leader, Emmanuel from a global construction company, began using unlearning prompts we developed together with his direct reports. When he felt that not everything seemed fine, he would cap off routine task updates by asking his direct reports if everything was alright. He also used the specific prompts: “Is there anything that’s slowing you down?” and “Is there anything standing in your way?” 

Before, his instinct was to jump in and fix the issue after a response – but these questions gave him what he called an “in”, allowing him to open deeper conversations without overstepping. He learned to stay with open-ended follow-ups that helped his team shed assumptions, worries and perfectionism.

In an one-on-one meeting, a direct report shared with Emmanuel about being overwhelmed by competing deadlines and hesitant to ask for help. What began as a small tension unfolded into a 45-minute conversation about the pressure to appear self-sufficient. Emmanuel resisted the urge to immediately problem-solve. Instead, they explored what could be let go of, and by the end, the direct report felt both lighter and had more clarity about how to prioritise and communicate differently. While they didn’t discuss deliverables in that meeting, Emmanuel noted that at their next check-in, the direct report came better prepared and was more open and proactive in seeking support.

Another senior leader, Theodora from a global energy company, used unlearning prompts in a different way. She put “What can we unlearn?” on the team meeting agenda and explained the scope of what this could entail – themselves, the team, others, operations, anything – at the start of the meeting. She asked each person to include something they felt was “getting in the way” or “slowing them down”. 

At first, the team would focus on easier topics, like a new tool integration gone haywire or a difficult stakeholder. Once she shared her own journey of unlearning around hedging while communicating with her own boss, the team opened up and eased into naming tensions in themselves and between one another. In one meeting, what began as a quick check-in turned into a deeper discussion about unclear decision-making roles (which also stemmed from Theodora) and feelings of being left out of key conversations. It was uncomfortable for everyone, but clear that they needed to air these concerns. Everyone agreed to stay the course. While they didn’t get to the rest of the agenda, there was more ease in collaboration at the following meeting.

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A practical framework

If you’re a leader or manager who wants to make unlearning part of your team’s rhythm, here’s a simple framework to start using today.

Step 1: Signal the moment

Use a clear cue that shifts the conversation from solving to exploring:

• Let’s think about what we can shed before we shift.
• What might be getting in our way right now?
• I’m noticing some tension. Is this a good time to try to get to the bottom of it?

Pause intentionally to invite a genuine expression of any confusion, frustration or anxiety.

Step 2: Hold space, don’t fix

The instinct to solve is strong. But unlearning conversations are about reflection. Ask:

• What feels hardest to let go of?
• What’s at stake if you unlearn this?
• What tension are you sitting with?

Listen without steering. Stay curious longer than it feels comfortable.

Step 3: Rebuild with intention

Once the tension has been aired, guide the conversation forward:

• What feels lighter now?
• What new paths are opening up?
• What’s one thing you’d like to carry forward from this conversation?

This helps ensure that unlearning creates intentional clarity and momentum.

Why shared unlearning transforms people

When leaders start these conversations, they normalise them across the organisation. The ripple effects are tangible allowing for more proactive conversations before issues fester. It can also ensure honest feedback that fosters mutual relearning instead of quiet frustration.

Through this, energy can be recaptured, talent can be retained and disconnection can be reduced. But most importantly, unlearning enables more lively, honest interactions that help people get to the real work faster and humanise the workplace by rebuilding trust and relational clarity.

Here’s the truth: Leaders and teams are often performing – focusing on tasks and outputs – while avoiding the deeper process-level tensions that block progress. It’s no one’s fault. But it is every leader’s responsibility to create the right conditions for a different conversation. Sometimes, all it takes is the right question, the right invitation and a safe space.

As Schein’s work on unlearning and humble inquiry shows, development begins when we let go of old ways of thinking and make room for others’ perspectives. Unlearning isn’t slowing down – it’s what allows us to move forward with greater clarity, energy and connection.

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