3 Business Ideas That Seem Great When You're Drunk

Jan 15, 2021 1 Min Read
Business Ideas
In alcohol's defence, I've done some pretty dumb s**t while completely sober too.

I don’t know you, but there is a high probability that you are going to end up in a bar or a social event and have a few too many drinks and then you are going to want to start a business based on the amazing ideas you and your fellow drinkers come up with.

Here are three business ideas that I 'started' while inebriated that you can start too with little effort or forethought

1. The 'No Experience Required' business

The NO-experience business is just what it says, you do not need to have ANY experience in it whatsoever. If you are a car mechanic you can easily start a biotech company tonight, no experience needed. Hell, why stop there, the sky (or bar tab) is the limit, why not start Space X-B, to compete with Elon Musk. 

I have heard many entrepreneurship speakers at free events tell the crowds, “Most innovation comes from outside of an industry”. Look at Apple computers and what they did to mobile phones? Tesla and their amazing electric cars? And you think to yourself, this must be a sign, this is for me. And they are right, people outside of an industry are not restricted by the orthodoxies by those who have been in it for a long time.

I mean, this is a no-brainer (no pun intended).

1A. When you are sober again, apply the following
Don't forget that alcohol helps to remove the stress, the undergarments, and many many other problems.

I have made this mistake before and I have lost a lot of money in the process. Never get involved in a business or industry that you have NO experience or interest in. Not that I say you should not be innovative and push boundaries. 

For the most part, it is because you have little to contribute and thus have to hire people to help you. People cost money and increase your risk in the early stages. 

Lastly, if this is an industry or product category that does not excite you then do not do it. I have experienced this myself, no amount of money will make crap work fun work. Focus on getting into a business or industry that you have experience in and/or that you enjoy working in. 

Later, when you have the billions in the bank, go and do crazy stuff. But for now, let’s just focus on getting you into a profitable business you actually enjoy working in. 

2. The 'idea only' business

Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.

Once I had an idea that would make the tracking of radio station listeners an exact science, I was in my 20’s. I am in my late forties now, I cannot for the life of me remember what the idea was.

One thing I must give alcohol credit for is its creative properties, and because of that, this business is probably the easiest of the three to start. I mean, apply alcohol until you have a great brain fart, believe in the greatness of your own idea, rope in other unsuspecting entrepreneurs in the bar, establish a partnership and dedicate future time and money to the idea. 

A toast to edible nail polish,

Anyone in the bar questioning the soundness of your business is simply 'not on your level' of thinking (or drinking) and should be discounted with extreme prejudice and judgement. Now is not the time to entertain the opinions of the commoners (sober people) because they are standing in the way of The Success Express that is about to leave the station. 

The lucky few who joined this future world phenomenon early on is under the illusion that it must be fate that they went out drinking that night and that tonight of all nights brains, drinks and ideas aligned to present this launchpad of success to the select few taking advantage of the tequila special that evening. 

I mean, this business perfectly addresses SO many challenges in the founders lives that it is impossible for anyone else not to have the same challenges, making the potential market opportunity huge. I mean, if we all have this problem, then the rest of the world must too?

In my mind, I am already waxing my surfboard as I am about to ride my tsunami of success into town and wipe all competitors out. 

2A. When you are sober again, apply the following
Alcohol, because no great story started with someone eating a salad.

This amazing opportunity that you stumbled upon (again no pun intended) is probably only relevant in your life and NOBODY else’s. Be very very wary of great business ideas that come from yourself, especially when out drinking. They are biased and you are usually blind to their faults and downsides. 

You are not the fountain of great and brilliant business ideas. Customers are the birthplace of opportunity. The few times that I came up with my own 'original' business ideas they turned out to be a flop because it was only a good idea in the context of my life, not the life of anyone else. 

When you get an 'original' business idea go out and test it with real customers. That means having customer interviews. That does not mean you go and ask them “If I make this, will you buy it?” That is a surefire recipe for failure. I am not going to explain the whole process here and instead just direct you to one of the best free books on this topic: Talking to Humans by Giff Constable - Read it and save yourself a lot of time, money and pain in the long run.

3. The 'napkin' business

I used to think drinking was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.

Mount Everest, hold on to your foothills because we are coming to the top and we are going to do this fast, sleek and with perfect execution. This business is so great, the vision of opportunity of this business shines SO bright that it blocks out all other pesky details that might resonate with logic and risk management.

You are actually now drunk on an opportunity. You can already smell the Lamborghini interior and taste the champagne on your lips. 

That bright light that you see as the guiding light of success is actually just a freight train heading towards you. 

3A. When you are sober again, apply the following
Alcohol is the perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

I am NOT someone for business plans, handing me a business plan or having me prepare one would be like giving Superman kryptonite. I say that because business plans are built on crystal ball thinking. The better you can supposedly predict the future, the better the business will do. 

Can you predict the future? No, nobody can and that is the biggest issue with this business. It is based on the near-religious belief that you KNOW what will happen going forward.

However, you can create the future with the decisions that you make today. 

You can start with a simple plan, and it should usually be guided by some kind of monetary target. Example: “In the next 90 days, this business should have no less than 10 paying customers and generate X in revenue. “

If you don’t do this, how do you know when to quit? Also, this frames your efforts so that when things do not happen like planned, as they will most probably will, you can question yourself, adjust and try again before you run out of time or money or both. 

4. How To GetThe Right Business Ideas - Do This

Starting your own business is very easy, look at the previous examples given. Starting the right business with the highest chance of actually working while giving you what YOU want very difficult.

When you want to start a business most of us turn to entrepreneurship books, trainers and speakers. This also is not the best option because they are hiding something from you.

They promise you that entrepreneurship is the way to escape poverty, make more money, gain control over your time, life and money but all of this is BS.

What they do not tell you is that entrepreneurship is ONLY designed to look after the needs of the customer, not you the entrepreneur and business owner. 

If you don’t believe me, look at the life, working conditions and financial stability of a typical entrepreneur and you will see I speak the truth. Most entrepreneurs never get what they thought they would get. instead, they end up building a profitable jail they can never leave. 

Well, it's better than a non-profitable jail, right?

If you are drunk, or sober, it does not matter what business you start, as long as you make sure that you build a business around you and your needs. You have to consciously design it that way otherwise you will end up like most entrepreneurs, lonely, burnt out and broke. 

Your business is there to serve your needs as much as your customers’ needs, if not this, then why did you start the business? If you are not building a business around your needs and always putting the business and customer before yourself, then you are simply building a profitable jail, that you can never leave.

Why do you think so many entrepreneurs never stop working?

For many business leaders, building an engaging workforce is a key issue. If you have employee engagement issues, check out this quick video on how Leaderonomics Happily may be the answer to your woes:

To get more information on Leaderonomics Happily, click HERE.
Or send an email to info@leaderonomics.com for more information.

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Willem Gous is an international speaker, trainer and consultant on leadership, innovation and entrepreneurship. He started The Human Entrepreneur after seeing his father destroy himself through his own business and decided to work to keep entrepreneurs in the game with a human-centric approach to developing entrepreneurs.

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