Manage This Before It Manages You

It seems like there are a lot of angry people around these days. And yes, there are times when anger might be appropriate. Left unchecked, though, anger can become a habit that manages us. Here's what happens in your brain when you get angry:

Your emotional center and your logical/rational center have a reciprocal relationship 1. When you get angry the amygdala dials up and the frontal lobe dials down; and vice a versa. When anger takes over:

• your empathy and compassion decline.
• you lose the awareness and ability to assess how other people feel.
• you make epic speeches you later regret.
• you make irrational decisions.
• and the list gets worse ...... 

But, as they say, "Wait. There's more!" And, it's not good.

Read: Diffusing Workplace Anger

Over time, the neurochemicals released by persistent anger gradually shrink the ‘empathy center’ of the brain. This then impairs your ability to think and act compassionately even when not angry. Let that sink in. You become your anger. We've all heard the label, "He's such an angry person." 

And, there's other "bad brain stuff" that goes along with anger, but we'll leave that for another bulletin ....

Now the good news: The greatest remedy for anger is curiosity and delay. Neurologists claim that every time you resist acting on your anger, you're actually rewiring your brain to be calmer and more loving. Remember, brains get good at what they repeatedly do. The pendulum of neuroplasticity swings both ways. 

We can stop the cascade of harm by adopting a personal phrase and pounding it into our heads. A phrase like: "Cool it.", "Stop it.", "Think!" This gives the emotional center a chance to "kick in", dial up, and take back control. Each time you manage to do this it gets a bit easier the next time.

It's worth remembering we don't help ourselves by wounding others. 

In the end, "Anger makes us feel isolated." - Fred Rogers.

This article was first published in Terry Small's Brain Bulletin newsletter.

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