Finding Gratitude in a Crisis

Of all the ‘attitudes’ we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing. — Zig Ziglar

It’s easy to be grateful when life is good. But what about when it’s not? How does gratitude help when you're going through something truly difficult?

In my work as a coach, volunteer, father, and friend, I’ve walked alongside people during some of their darkest moments. They’ve lost their health, a friendship, a marriage. Some have lost homes to floods or fires. Others have lost jobs they loved or, hardest of all, they’ve lost loved ones.

In those times, when heartbreak feels unbearable, how could gratitude possibly help?

A wise man once taught me that gratitude has the power to heal. Honestly, at the time, I found it hard to believe. How could being grateful change anything when you're in the depths of despair? And yet, over the years, I’ve found it to be true. Time and again, I’ve seen how choosing gratitude can soften pain and bring light into the darkest places.

When my father passed away, I was filled with regret. I wished I’d spent more time with him in his final days, called more, been a better son. He was one of my greatest heroes, and I felt like I’d let him down.

But then came the funeral. As our family gathered in the chapel to celebrate his life, something unexpected happened. The memories began to flood in and were full of laughter and joy. I could hear him singing while my mother played the piano. There were more smiles than tears that day. And in the middle of all that grief, I felt something powerful: gratitude.

I was so grateful for the man he was. For every tennis match we played, every lesson at his knee, every hug, every kind word. Thankfulness began to wash away the guilt and replace it with peace.

I realized in that moment that gratitude doesn't erase the pain, but it helps us carry it with grace.

So often, when we count our blessings, we focus on things we have or things we’ve achieved. But rather than be grateful “for” things I’ve learned to be grateful “in” things. And I’ve learned that the greatest blessings are moments. And sometimes, hard moments teach us the most. They remind us that we’re stronger than we think, and that even in hardship, we can grow. That day at my father's funeral was one of the hardest of my life, and yet it became a moment I’ll always be grateful for.

I often think about Job in the Old Testament. He had everything, and then he lost it all. And yet, even in his darkest hour, he gave thanks. His words still echo today: “Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job understood something powerful: that gratitude is not about what we have, but about what we see. Even when everything is stripped away, there’s still room for a thankful heart.

It’s never lost on me how truly blessed I am. Even when life feels hard, I know that so many others would trade places with me in a heartbeat. My writing partner Adrian Gostick and I have traveled the world in our work helping leaders and organizations. We’ve been feted in luxury resorts, and we’ve volunteered in places with true hardship, where people live with no clean water, no safety, no certainty about tomorrow. And then we get to come home. I turn on a faucet and clean water flows. My house is warm. My kids and grandkids are safe and thriving.

In those moments, a wave of gratitude rushes over me. And I hold onto it.

So, I’ve made it my goal to be grateful every day, no matter what.

I hope today brings you a moment of gratitude too. Not just for your life, but in your life. Especially during the hard days.

This article was firstly published on Chester Elton's LinkedIn.

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